The Rhythm of Conflict

I enjoy solving conflict. I have always been one those people who other people find when they have an issue they want to discuss and resolve. I can be in a crowded restaurant half-way around the world and the guy that has an issue that can’t quite be figured out will somehow find his way to my table so he can tell me all about it. I’m not put off by this and I do not necessarily seek conflicted situations out in my down time either, but somehow the issues find me. I feel physically and spiritually better when I have helped someone or a group of someones find a solution to a vexing dilemma. I realize life is a two-way street and many of my friends and colleagues have been there for me over the years when I have run into situations that are beyond my powers as a human-being to overcome. I believe that life is about helping each other.

Sometimes conflicts are rather easy to resolve. In fact, most of it relates to just listening, especially to the space in-between the dialogue. A musician understands this concept of the space in-between the notes. Much of it is timing. The right answer will be right at the right time. Right answer but still the wrong time? Then it will still be the wrong answer. Problem solving is very much the art of rhythm. Once you find a problem’s rhythm, the possibility of solution arrives. Possibility is the seed of creativity. In my opinion, great music, at its core, is a composer’s solution to a problem that they were solving.

Others have thought about this and articulated better than me. Here are some thoughts on conflict to consider:

“Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict.”
– Dorothy Thompson

“There are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise, and integration. By domination only one side gets what it wants; by compromise neither side gets what it wants; by integration we find a way by which both sides may get what they wish.”
– Mary Parker Follett

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About Intermountain Mediation Center

At Intermountain Mediation Center, we help resolve disputes involving divorce, personal injury, medical malpractice, wills and trusts, real estate, and employment and workplace issues. We are friendly, responsive and affordable. Call us today at (801) 424-3451 for a free assessment on how we can help you move beyond your conflict.
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